Sam vaknin borderline

Borderline Personality Disorder. Buy the Print Edition.

My name is Sam Vaknin. A few weeks ago, I made a video about how the narcissist sees you. Today, I'm going to tell you how the borderline sees you, her intimate partner. It's going to be a tough ride, very triggering. Mind you, make frequent stops, drink water, make positive thoughts. The borderline is a harrowing experience.

Sam vaknin borderline

By: Dr. Sam Vaknin. The Web Sam Vaknin Sites. Subscribe to narcissisticabuse Powered by groups. Notes of first therapy session with T. Dal is an attractive young woman but seems to be unable to maintain a stable sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Her confidence in her ability to "hold on to men" is at a low ebb, having just parted ways with "the love of her life". In the last year alone she confesses to having had six "serious relationships". Why did they end? The commencement of each affair was "a dream come true" and the men were all and one "Prince Charming". But then she invariably found herself in the stormy throes of violent fights over seeming trifles. She tried to "hang on there", but the more she invested in the relationships, the more distant and "vicious" her partners became.

The problem is both anxieties, the separation anxiety and the engulfment anxiety, both of them put the borderline in touch with her empty schizoid core.

Ah, borderlines. The only thing better than one borderline in your life is two borderlines in your life. A drink to all the wonderful enchanted magical amazing unicorn creatures known as borderlines, and to the havoc they cause and the pain and the trauma. Today, I am going to discuss many unresolved issues in the understanding of borderline personality disorders and the interaction between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. Joanne LaChark , my good friend, was the first to write a book about narcissistic borderline couples way back in , if memory doesn't fail me, and so she is a pioneer. Today, I am going to elucidate the complex dynamics in the borderline's mind and how these dynamics manifest or rather explode and erupt when she is in an intimate relationship with a narcissist.

How does she do this? How does she succeed to override all your rational defenses, lifelong experience, better judgment, advice from friends and family? How does she succeed to render herself irresistible? My name is Sam Vaknin, I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, and I am a professor of psychology, and I have a long first-hand experience with this delectable variant of humanity, the woman with borderline personality disorder. And yes, before I am attacked by third wave, second wave, first wave, and fourth tsunami feminists, half of all borderlines are male men. But this video is dedicated to this enchanted creature, the borderline woman. Nothing like her, thank God. The borderline woman is multifarious, she is ephemeral, shimmering, a shimmering mirage, like frata morgana. She's like a kaleidoscope. You can never pin her down.

Sam vaknin borderline

Vaknin, stop it! You're all screaming in unison. What on earth has happened to you on TikTok? On YouTube , you were serious and scholarly and iridite and deep and sagacious. See how many words I know? But on TikTok , you are snippety. You are soundbite. What's wrong with you? We want something more substantial. We want borderline personality disorder.

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They then sadistically proceed to describe to their spouses their sexual exploits and other misconduct in excruciating details as a form of coming clean, maintaining openness and honesty, and expressing remorse, repentance, and shame, or expiating guilt. Here's my chance to fix my mother. A mayhem. And so no abandonment, no anxiety. In the avoidance phase, the person with BPD feels overwhelmed by pain, anticipates abandonment, and may engage in acting out behaviors like cheating or other reckless actions. And these two anxieties are constantly at play in the tortured psyche of the borderline. My love is unconditional. She will be able to go for long periods without any romantic or sexual liaisons, a lone wolf in her lair - something BPD patients whose alters are not psychopathic cannot ever countenance or do. She pushes all your buttons. Both the classic and covert borderline many of the latter are men act out. So no abandonment anxiety, but also no engulfment anxiety because she is the one doing the engulfing. The borderline is intensely childlike, which provokes in you paternal or parental reactions. So I don't know what. Ah, borderlines.

The pandemic catalyzed and accelerated this trend.

Don't confuse her with the facts. It's not. It is she who wants to abandon and reject you and she projects it onto you. The borderline needs a partner who will idealize them and reduce their abandonment anxiety, but then discard them when they feel suffocated. In a way, the borderline creates the equivalent of the Marxist shared fantasy. The majority of persons diagnosed with these comorbidities of personality disorders are women. She prophylactically abandons you first before you abandon her. You're a stronger me. She can't tolerate the pain and the hurt. You constantly deceive me. The intimacy for her signifies that she exists. There was no problematic conduct. She wants you to consume her. You remember when the narcissist has an intimate partner who is a non-borderline, they both mother each other. The shared fantasy of the narcissist was first described by Sander in , not by Wagner.